((Oh, my goodness, I’ve been so busy over on my role-playing account, that I completely forgot about this blog! I’m surprised I still have people following this blog, especially after that long hiatus.
Uh… if anyone wants to ask the “doctor,” then I guess go right ahead? I just have to remember to log in here and answer stuff. I kinda lost my muse for this wacky doctor, so I’ll have to get into his kind of mood and be the know-it-all specialist that Spaceman is.))
AnonymousYou’re steadily growing? This is certainly a problem. Here’s what you need. Four horses, a lot of rope, an assistant to whip the horses, and of course a soda. You gotta rehydrate yourself afterwards.
…
Again. Would you like to be admitted? I have a “Buy one visit, get one visit free!” coupon.
Well, for one. Phazon is only blue goo. And two, that blue goo does not exist. So your killing crave with Phazon is all in your mind. Would you like to be admitted?
AnonymousAh. Did this friend of yours become a man recently? That could be the problem. Some quack didn’t operate correctly. Bring your friend in so we can see how the baby is doing!
I don’t recommend absorption because there’s a baby in there, and even though it’s gross like Alien, that could be their child someday.
Anonymous
Why, aliens are our friends from radioactive space. But this isn’t a medical emergency, is it?
Some of the people I follow are actual aliens from other universes. But I have to warn you about those Xenomorphs. They can paint the town red when they’re not happy. But I do that when I’ve had too much to drink during surgery.
If the black markets are not an option, then Wal-Greens should do the job. Just ask for purple pills at the counter and mention my name. They should give you the pills there.
As for your friend having two left feet, has he heard of cutting off the right “left” foot? He can replace this foot with a wheel, but I would have to register him as a motor vehicle. Oh, but you two have switched bodies, so go have the foot replaced with a wheel and I will be happy to register you as a vehicle today.
It’s Friday, Friday, time to…ugh! That annoying song keeps playing in my head.
Okay, so you and your friend have switched bodies. In my medical opinion, I’m guessing this happened due to a crazy fortune cookie or freaky voodoo. Here’s what you can do. You can either have a little fun living your friend’s life, or if you want to get back to normal, I recommend getting some purple pills. You can find these at your local black market. Once you buy these pills, bring them to me and you will go back to normal.
Oh Jenna. She cracks me up. No, seriously. She cracked some of my bones when I told her she shouldn’t go on the Live Show because she was too drunk. Or was she not drunk enough…? I don’t remember. It had something to do with alcohol and she went insane. If she wasn’t an actress, I would have sent her to a psychiatrist.
Dr. Spaceman: All right, now that the popsicle’s melted we’ve got ourselves a tongue depressor.
Liz Lemon: I wanted you to look at these cold sores. I get them when I’m stressed out.
Dr. Spaceman: Ah they’re nothing to be ashamed of. I get them from prostitutes.
Liz Lemon: I just had a hard couple months. Work has been crazy and I went through a bad breakup and then there was this plastic bag that represented my death.
Dr. Spaceman: Sounds like you could use a little R&R. Rum and Ritalin.
Liz Lemon: Actually I was hoping you’d just have an ointment for my mouth.
Dr. Spaceman: Gross.
Liz Lemon: Cuz I’m dealing with the stress thing. Over the break I’m renting a cottage out in the Hamptons. There’s just four things I want to do this summer: be outdoors, wear shapeless clothing, do some mindless activity like gardening, and learn Spanish.
Dr. Spaceman: There are four things I want to do this summer, but they’re roommates so it’s tricky. All right, here’s a prescription for your cold sores and here’s a blank one for the weekend. Now one final thing. Why aren’t you wearing pants?
